What to say:

1. Help them see that the abuse is not their fault.
   • Tell them that they did not bring this upon themselves and they do not deserve this abuse.
2. Help them gain perspective.
   • Explain the scope of the problem and help them understand that the attack may not be about their work, but about a much larger agenda. You can share our one-pager describing the problem of occupational abuse here [link].
3. Validate their work and show them why they are an asset to their field. 
   • Give examples of how their work is impactful, or how their work is needed and valuable.
4. Help them connect with a broader community. 
   • Tell them that they are not alone. This kind of abuse has happened and is currently happening to other researchers and they are finding ways to cope. 
   • Researchers under attack are gaining the support of their communities, colleagues, and institutions. You can help them:
     • Think through how they can mobilize their support system. Who can give them practical support? Emotional support? Who in their institution can be of assistance–this is often the department chair, dean, or provost? 
     • Make a list of allied people or organizations that would be willing to draft a holding statement of support on their behalf. Encourage them to reach out to these people or offer to be a bridge.
     • Connect with other researchers who have faced occupational intimidation and harassment.
5. Give them back a sense of control. 
   • Help them make a high-level plan with specific next steps. 

What not to say:

1. Do not brush it off or belittle their experience. This kind of abuse can be overwhelming, incredibly stressful, and even terrifying.
2. Do not suggest that they simply ignore abusive messages. Ignoring the trolls or onslaught of messages may not be possible and by suggesting that coping is simple could make them feel worse. 
3. Do not suggest that they “get offline.” This statement may challenge their professional identity at the core. Although it can be healthy to take offline breaks, the internet may be where their work thrives. Online networking and collaboration can be incredibly important to their professional identity and to their professional future. Severing that sense of connection can be incredibly isolating, resulting in further distress—and for many, decreasing online visibility would hinder professional growth and opportunities and potentially end their work altogether. This is not to say that an offline break is a bad idea or may not be helpful, just that you should be cautious about oversimplifying the decision to engage in digital spaces.

Tips for talking with someone who is distressed:

1. Stay calm and keep your voice calm.
2. If they need to talk, let them talk. Give them the space to process what is going on.
3. Practice active listening without judgment.
4. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their emotional experience.
5. Reflect back what you hear so they know you understand and are tracking. 
6. Ask for permission before offering your feedback, as in “can I tell you what I’m hearing?” or “may I share my thoughts about this?”
7. Watch out for red flags. If they are not able to calm down or pull themselves up, help to connect them with a mental health provider or suggest that they call or text the Crisis Hotline at 988. In cases of immediate medical emergencies, call 911.